Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Minus 10 I'm Too Busy For You Minutes

Remember when you first met? The butterflies you felt when he first put his hand on your lower back while ushering you through the door of the restaurant? The way you'd grab his hand in the car. In the store. On the couch. There was a time when you thought you'd never let go of his hand.

Remember when you first held your baby? Marveling at that little squished up face and teeny, tiny fingers. You never wanted to share. There was a time when you swore you'd never put that baby down. Ever.

And now? When was the last time you held hands in the car? Lay on his lap while watching a movie? When was the last time you held your baby (who is not so much of a baby anymore)? Marveled at how beautifully and wonderfully she is made?

Your challenge this week is to set the timer for 10 minutes each night and hold hands, hug, kiss, cuddle, touch - someone you love. Tonight it can be your spouse. Tomorrow your eight-year old. The point is to focus for ten full minutes on TOUCHING THEM. Walk arm in arm. Watch SpongeBob with your arm around your son's shoulder. Reconnect with the people you care about.

If you're one of those couples that readily holds hands and hugs, don't be afraid to turn it up a notch (or two). Instead of hopping out of the car right away, sit in the driveway and make out. (Giggle if you want, but you used to do that a lot! And you did it to show him you thought the world of him.)

If you already hug your child on a regular basis try changing it up a bit: offer to read their palms... trace their hand in yours. What do you see? Ignore the dirt under the fingernails and the sweat -- here's a chance to be funny: "I see you have difficulty placing dirty laundry in clothes baskets." or hopeful: "I see that you are full of potential and will be successful in whatever you put your heart into."

Studies show people thrive socially, academically and cognitively when they receive adequate amounts of nurturing touch in their daily lives. Without an appropriate amount of nurturing touch, people report feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and lack of confidence.

Each day this week, resolve to get rid of 10 I’m Too Busy For You Minutes and replace them with 10 You Mean Everything to Me Minutes. Even if you wouldn’t define yourself as the “touchy feely type,” find a few moments each evening to reconnect with your spouse and children through touch. (Make all the excuses you want, but I bet you were touchy-feely enough to make a child!)

What are you waiting for? The laundry will be there when you get back…

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