Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Minus 10 Not So Healthy Choices

Once this week I will not eat that bowl of cheetos; instead I will eat a serving of cottage cheese.

Once this week I will make my sandwich on wheat bread instead of white.

Once this week I will pass up the cookie and snack on a banana instead.

Once this week I will ask for apple slices instead of french fries.

Once this week I will eat a bowl of oatmeal instead of that donut slathered in glaze.

Once this week I will order the Nonfat Sugar-free Vanilla Latte instead of my regular drink of choice at Starbucks.

Once this week I will eat salsa instead of the creamy dip.

Once this week I will order a sandwich from Panera instead of a Whopper from Burger King.

Once this week I will take eat two servings of vegetables instead of one. (Or none.)

The challenge this week is simple sounding. Minus 10 Not So Healthy Choices, opting for a healthier substitute. It's like saving your change in a jar... it doesn't look like much until you add it all up at the end.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Minus 10 Complaining Comments

No one in my home knows how to properly fold a towel and place it back neatly on the towel bar.

My oldest daughter brushes her teeth and always leaves a glob of toothpaste at the bottom of the sink. Always.

We're required to park on the far side of the lot at work, but the part-time intern takes the prime spot by the door. Every single day.

My co-worker comes to work and shuts the closet door in such a way that half the arm of his coat is sticking out.

People come in to the office to fill out paperwork and they just grab my pen on my desk - without asking.

When my boyfriend talks on the phone he has no problem sitting right next to me to talk... loudly... even if I'm watching a really good tv show.

My brother is living with the girl who only cheated on him twice.

These things bother me. Upset me. Irk me. Make me mad. I don't understand the why behind such actions. To me, it's so unbelievably simple and obvious and, well, logical. Hang up the towel so it not only looks nice but dries properly. Wipe out the sink when you're done or use less toothpaste. Park where you're supposed to. Make sure nothing is sticking out of the door when you close it. Ask before taking. Have your private conversation out of earshot. Cheating is not allowed.

These are my issues. I know they are. I complain, yell, plead, rant and make sarcastic comments like, "Oh, I saw this look in a Home & Gardens magazine; everyone hangs their towels this way. It's the new look of the elite." Yet nothing changes. Because these are my issues.

I'm positive I do things that bother other people. I know this because I've heard it. Funny thing, though, I don't change because I'm okay with the way I am and I'm quick to point this out. "Maybe you don't like the seventeen books piled up on the bed stand, so what? It's my bed stand!"

See, I'm actually upset that you said something to me... not that you might not like my books. Because when you said something it felt like you were judging me and that hurt.

Wouldn't it make sense then that when I complain, yell, plead, rant and make comments that it hurts the feelings of others? That they would (rightfully) feel I was judging them?

This week's challenge is to Minus Ten Complaining Comments and replace them with biting your tongue. Look, it just doesn't need to be said. Those pet peeves might 'bother' you but they don't 'hurt' you. There's a big difference in those two words.

After you're done biting your tongue - take it a step further and find a positive about the situation. Here's what I know:

I'm lucky the towels find their way up to the towel bars. A lot of people struggle with getting them off the floor.

My oldest daughter has a beautiful smile. Her teeth are gorgeous! She takes care of them and I appreciate that.

I get more exercise parking farther away. In fact, it wouldn't hurt if I parked across the street.

The coat looks way more professional sticking out of our back closet than hanging off the back of his chair or dumped in a corner of his cubicle. There actually are worse places for it to be.

At least the paperwork is getting filled out in front of me. I can easily see if any information is missing and let the applicant know right away.

I have a boyfriend who feels completely open having a conversation with his friends while sitting right next to me. No hiding out in the other room, or walking outside. I don't have to worry.

My brother is forgiving. That's a pretty decent quality to possess. (Much better than my getting upset over a towel not hung to my standards.)

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Minus 10 Gross Foods

Day after day I hear the same thing: There's nothing to eat!

Of course, I'm convinced there is plenty of wonderful food to eat because our pantry seems to be bursting at the seams. Obviously they are wrong.

Except, they aren't.

A quick inventory of our pantry included things like a package of instant (dry) gravy mix (which entered our home somewhere around 1998) and four boxes of noodles (all about an eighth full of actual noodles) and a spray can of frosting. Yes, a spray can of frosting. Partially emptied two years ago. There is also a can of something that resembles soup. No one remembers purchasing it and no one dares to consume it.

It's time to clean out the pantry.

Sounds easy, doesn't it? Except I have been trained to believe that throwing out food you know you will never eat is still a sin. The Patron Saints of Wasted Food will banish me eternally to hell if I actually throw out the can of anchovies that's been sitting on the shelf for the past seven years. Even though I would bet my life I'll never open the can, much less eat whatever is in there, I'm not sure I'm willing to bet my eternal resting place.

Therefore, I am making a challenge that allows me, as well as others, the opportunity to rid the pantry once and for all of all the things we know we will never open, use, or eat - guilt free. Part of balancing life is to find the courage to get rid of anything and everything that isn't useful, functioning, serving a purpose or providing enjoyment. For me, lima beans are on that list.

This week's challenge is to Minus 10 Gross Foods so you have the space to replace them with ten good ones.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Minus 10 I'm Too Tired Excuses

My morning drive to the office this morning focused on sex. Specifically, the fact that most women are "too tired" to have sex. So they aren't having sex with their partner. Like ever.

I usually laugh off the people calling in to a radio show (particularly some guy willing to announce that he hasn't had sex with his wife since November), but then it hit me ... this guy has not had sex with his wife since November. He didn't sound mad. Or angry. Or ticked off. He sounded sad. He sounded lonely.

He understood the feeling - in fact, he felt she was justified in her tiredness. The stresses of working full time, taking care of the kids, going to school to finish her degree, volunteering at church, cleaning the house, grocery shopping, folding the laundry -- it's a lot to take on and would leave anyone feeling exhausted. He tried to help as much as he could, but she was still tired.

Here's what it is (and ladies, you may get mad at me - particularly the tired ones): Men feel loved when you have sex with them.

Yes, I know, I know. Women feel loved when men offer to get the groceries, cook dinner, make sure the children's homework is done, bring the garbage cans in from the roadside, let us watch what we want to watch on television, pay the bills, fight with the insurance company, organize school lunches, surprise us by getting all the laundry done, clean out the car, and anything and everything else that would take one thing off our plate without us having to tell them, beg them or threaten them to do it.

Remember when we were little and we were upset because some kid on the school ground made fun of our backpack? And our mom explained that we couldn't hurl an insult back just to "get even?" That instead we would collect more flies with honey and the next time we saw that person we should give a genuine compliment?
Guess what? That still works.

This month's challenge is to Minus 10 I'm Too Tired Excuses and instead have sex, kiss, touch, enjoy your partner when you'd rather just roll over and pretend to be asleep. (In case you didn't know, if you really like someone and they pretend to be asleep when you try to pay attention to them it hurts. It hurts deep. So don't do it. Because it's mean.)

And if you honestly find yourself too tired then please, for the sake of your relationship, choose to put the unimportant things on the back burner. Turn the television off at 9. Don't worry about that load of laundry; you can fold it tomorrow. Write out that bill at lunch the next day. Instead, go collect your flies with honey.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Minus 10 "Same old - Same old"

Once again we find ourselves in the car having the same conversation we've had a thousand times before knowing it will end the same way it always does: at the McDonald's drive-thru unless there's not a long wait at Chili's.

"Are you hungry?"

"Starved!"

"Where would you like to go?"

"I don't care. Some place different. Some place we haven't been before."

"Ok." 

[long awkward pause]

"Got any ideas?"

"Umm... well... what about that one place downtown?"

"We go there all the time."

"Not all the time."

"A lot of the time."

"Fine. Pick some place else."

Ugh! This conversation is getting old. We have great intentions but something happens in the confines of that vehicle that prohibits any inspirational ideas from possibly forming. I find my mind completely blank of any and all restaurants located within the entire county except the two we always go to.

And so, it is with great excitement that I introduce this week's challenge to you. A challenge designed to introduce you to new places, new food, new conversation and new memories. This week your goal is to write down 10 restaurants in the area that you have never been to before. Write down their names, addresses, hours of operation and phone numbers. You will then place one copy of The List in the glove compartment of each vehicle you own.

The next time dinner is mentioned go to The List. Pick a place and go to it. Don't even question it. Don't discuss it other than, "I'm so excited to see what this place is like!" Don't hesitate. Just drive to it.

Life is short. Try something new.