Minus 10 Automatic Negative Attribute Opinions

"I'm not going if Cheryl is there - she's rude and judgmental. You should hear the inappropriate things she says; everyone leaves feeling like crap."

"I can't believe I'm scheduled to work with Trisha. She's so annoying! Can't she find something to talk about other than that dog of hers? I swear she thinks it's human."

"I'm assuming there will be drinking involved. I don't think Bob can function without a drink in his hand."

We all jump to conclusions about people before we get to know them, but what happens after you've gotten to know them and you really aren't all that thrilled about them? What happens when that thing we don't like about a person keeps growing and growing until we're at the point we rush down a different aisle in the grocery store in the hopes of avoiding them?

Before we know it, the only thing we see in that person is what we dislike, with little to no room for anything positive. The truth is, we are all made up of both good and bad. Sometimes we just need help focusing on the positive (before our mind is consumed with the negative).

Look, thinking about someone in a positive light is not going to change them. The guy who drinks a ton, all the time, and ends up being the stumbling, rambling fool at every get-together will probably remain that way. The change will be in you. Instead of focusing on his shortcomings you'll be able to take a deep breath and say, "He is someone who will come dig your car out of a snow ditch no matter where you are in the county, no matter what time of day. He is good for that." (Which is much better than the alternative, "what an idiot. Always drinking and being obnoxious. Can't he get his act together?")

The challenge this week is to Minus 10 Automatic Negative Attribute Opinions you have about people you know and replace them with ten positive ones. And, you're right, it might not be easy.

I have a person in my life who is anything but kind towards me. I have been hurt by her nasty commentary too many times to count. When her name comes up I honestly feel a physical change in my body - in the blink of an eye I get angry. My mind screams, "The things she's said to me! To my children! She's petty and rude and inappropriate and hurtful and I don't deserve to be treated like that!" I honestly avoid her at all costs. She's just a mean person and it is not required that I continue to be hurt by her. But she's not entirely evil. There are positive things in her. For instance, when she goes on vacation she always thinks about her children. They are all grown, yet she still gets each one of them a gift from where ever it was she visited. She's very giving in that respect. I don't believe she'll ever change. She hurts others as much as she hurts me. But I must train my mind to see that singular grain of positivity within her, otherwise I'll be forever weighted down by the negative bulkiness of that person's personality.

I have tried to befriend another person who all I see is criticalness and anger. Every conversation, no matter how lighthearted, turns to a bitter monologue spewed from her lips. She drags the fun level down. Actually shoves it down, and stamps on it. And then spits on it. To say she is "not a happy person" is a complete understatement. Honestly, my life is too short to be spent listening to all that depressing negativity. I tried to be friends and I just can't. It wears me out. But she's not entirely bad either. She takes wonderful, beautiful photographs. She really has a gift when it comes to that. So, the next time her name comes up, instead of a curt, "oh, yes, I know her." I'll change my automatic response to "Oh, yes - she takes beautiful photographs!"

We do become captive of our own thoughts and ideas about any given situation. While we can't change the behavior of others, we can ensure our responses, even our private thoughts... are positive ones.