I have moles. Everywhere. I hate them. I also hate how my breasts are too small, how my one ear sticks out too far, how there are scars on my legs. I hate the cellulite on my thighs, the knobbiness of my knees and the hair on my toe knuckles I got behind in waxing so now I'm forced to shave. Yes, I said toe knuckles. (I know I'm not the only woman in the universe who has this particular problem. I used to date a guy whose family lived in Michigan and we went to visit and I spied his aunt proudly displaying her hairy toes through a really cute pair of sandals. I was momentarily freaked out and then comforted.)
The description I just gave does not paint me in a good light; and yet, I'm not ugly.
I've got long, healthy hair.
Dark, expressive eyes.
A glimpse of my collar bone in a formal gown would send any man to his knees.
My teeth are straight without ever needing the assistance of orthodontists.
My back is smooth, sexy and strong.
My arms are toned and well defined.
My calf muscles are reminiscent of a ballerina.
I have dainty wrists that make me feel feminine and petite.
We choose the image of our body we want to focus on. Positive or negative, it's up to us.
This weeks challenge is to minus ten negative body images and replace them with ten positive ones. Write them down. Hang them on the mirror you use each morning. And read them. Remind yourself how beautiful you truly are.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Minus 10 Unacknowledged Influences
I've always known that everybody in the world has the potential to influence another. In big ways, small ways - sometimes in ways that provide examples of what not to do.
I used to work in the same building with an older insurance man. Bob was old school. Accepted payments in cash and hand wrote the receipt. He'd stay open late on Fridays and come in on Saturdays because he knew it was hard for people to take off work. He was always on an even keel and never seemed to get rattled by anything.
One day I was upset, frustrated and annoyed about another trivial, idiotic change my ignorant boss imposed. (Oh, yes. I thought I knew it all.) Bob watched me for a but, shook his head and chuckled. "What?" I snapped. Crossing his arms he smiled at me: "You remind me of me."
I couldn't believe it. He was the exact opposite of me. He explained how he wasn't always like that. He grew up fighting the fight. Any fight. No matter how small. If it was wrong, he'd be the one to make sure to tell you. And then, he said, he learned that didn't do much good at all. Things didn't just cahnge because he got upset. As he grew older he learned the art of picking and choosing his arguments. As he matured he learned how it was still okay to fight the wrongs, but you had to really think through how you were going to do that in the most effective manner.
To say Bob influenced me was an understatement. His words come back to me over and over again. "It's okay to get upset. It's okay to want to change things. You just need to learn to do it in a way that puts you in the best light."
I doubt Bob knows how much his words affected my life. And so, this challenge will be to Minus 10 Unacknowledged Influeneces. List ten people who affected your life. Ten people who taught you a thing or two. Ten people who made you want to be a better person. And tell them. Write them a note. Send them a card. Just make sure you do it today.
I used to work in the same building with an older insurance man. Bob was old school. Accepted payments in cash and hand wrote the receipt. He'd stay open late on Fridays and come in on Saturdays because he knew it was hard for people to take off work. He was always on an even keel and never seemed to get rattled by anything.
One day I was upset, frustrated and annoyed about another trivial, idiotic change my ignorant boss imposed. (Oh, yes. I thought I knew it all.) Bob watched me for a but, shook his head and chuckled. "What?" I snapped. Crossing his arms he smiled at me: "You remind me of me."
I couldn't believe it. He was the exact opposite of me. He explained how he wasn't always like that. He grew up fighting the fight. Any fight. No matter how small. If it was wrong, he'd be the one to make sure to tell you. And then, he said, he learned that didn't do much good at all. Things didn't just cahnge because he got upset. As he grew older he learned the art of picking and choosing his arguments. As he matured he learned how it was still okay to fight the wrongs, but you had to really think through how you were going to do that in the most effective manner.
To say Bob influenced me was an understatement. His words come back to me over and over again. "It's okay to get upset. It's okay to want to change things. You just need to learn to do it in a way that puts you in the best light."
I doubt Bob knows how much his words affected my life. And so, this challenge will be to Minus 10 Unacknowledged Influeneces. List ten people who affected your life. Ten people who taught you a thing or two. Ten people who made you want to be a better person. And tell them. Write them a note. Send them a card. Just make sure you do it today.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Minus 10 Passed By Observations
Nature is how we survive. It starts the food chain. Gives us air to breathe. Food to eat. Water to drink. But it's oh-so-much-more than just that! Nature provides us with breathtakingly beautiful sunsets. A rainbow brightening the sky before the last storm cloud has left. Nature gives us animals so fierce and also so fragile. Nature provides countless designs of plants and trees and grasses.
We are surrounded by nature so much so that sometimes we simply pass it by.
This week's challenge will be to notice Minus 10 Passed By Observations and instead, really note them. Write them down. Take a photo. What did you see this week? What did you really see?
I can't wait to hear what you discover....
We are surrounded by nature so much so that sometimes we simply pass it by.
This week's challenge will be to notice Minus 10 Passed By Observations and instead, really note them. Write them down. Take a photo. What did you see this week? What did you really see?
A flower pushing its way through the cracked concrete of an old, desearted warehouse.
A flock of starlings performing their intricate symphony of flight.
A lone oak tree standing in the middle of a freshly plowed field.
Drops of dew, covering a lawn like a thousand sparkling diamonds.
The chorus of frogs on a hot, steamy summer night.
A field of wheat, waving good morning on your drive to work.
A reddish egret performing its frenetic fishing dance.
A great blue heron capturing a fish with skilled precision and finesse.
A quiet hiking trail blanketed with discarded pine needles.
A giant panda bear, slowly rocking her cub to sleep.
I can't wait to hear what you discover....
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Minus 10 Randomly Spent Dollars
I learned early on (okay, high school) that if I asked someone for a dollar, they expected me to pay them back. However, if I asked for a quarter, it was quickly forgotten. (This was back in the day when a dollar actually bought something at the school canteen. I know, I'm dating myself.) Like any self-absorbed (and hungry) teen, I regularly made my rounds asking to borrow a quarter. Within a few short minutes I would have a couple dollars and was sauntering my way down the halls to purcahse a Milky Way candy bar and an ice cold grape soda.
It was a simple lesson: A whole lot of little adds up to a whole lot.
Right now I happen to have 481 "friends" on Facebook. Imagine if each one of them gave me a dollar. I'd easily have $481. Imagine if instead of buying a crate of candy bars I donated it to cancer research. Or to a family whose home caught on fire. Or to a mother who has to drive 45 minutes one way just to visit her baby in the NICU so she could buy gas. I'd feel pretty good about being able to give that.
What if a lot of people gave a little bit? And it added up to 'making a difference'?
So this week's challenge is to Minus 10 Randomly Spent Dollars -- dollars you might usually spend on coffee or soda, or on a pack of beef jerky from the gas station, or on a necklace that you only kind of, sort of like -- and donate those ten dollars to something bigger than yourself. Donate to the American Cancer Society or March of Dimes or anything else you feel could benefit from 'a difference'.
And then tell ten of your friends to do the same....
10 people, donating $10 each... see how it adds up so quick?
It was a simple lesson: A whole lot of little adds up to a whole lot.
Right now I happen to have 481 "friends" on Facebook. Imagine if each one of them gave me a dollar. I'd easily have $481. Imagine if instead of buying a crate of candy bars I donated it to cancer research. Or to a family whose home caught on fire. Or to a mother who has to drive 45 minutes one way just to visit her baby in the NICU so she could buy gas. I'd feel pretty good about being able to give that.
What if a lot of people gave a little bit? And it added up to 'making a difference'?
So this week's challenge is to Minus 10 Randomly Spent Dollars -- dollars you might usually spend on coffee or soda, or on a pack of beef jerky from the gas station, or on a necklace that you only kind of, sort of like -- and donate those ten dollars to something bigger than yourself. Donate to the American Cancer Society or March of Dimes or anything else you feel could benefit from 'a difference'.
And then tell ten of your friends to do the same....
10 people, donating $10 each... see how it adds up so quick?
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Minus 10 Unintroduced Friends
If you're like most people you have several Circles of Friends. There are the co-workers you attend Happy Hour with, sarcastically toasting your company with each round of drinks. There are the school friends - both the high school group and the college group. There are the friends you exercise with. The friends from church. And the friends who share your same hobbies. (In my world I call them Theatre Friends, and they are some of the best people I have ever met in my life!)
And, if you're like most people, the Circles never seem to co-mingle. They kind of stand alone while you hop in and out, from one circle to the next.
So safe, isn't it? Every person in each group knows each other. Knows their quirks and personalities. Knows what to expect. Safe. Yes.
Why not shake things up a bit? Life is too short not to meet as many people as you can! This challenge will help with that...
This week's challenge is to Minus 10 Unintroduced Friends. Simply put, you will invite ten people who don't know each other to an event that you're going to host. Invite ten people from your different circles to a dinner party. Or a potluck. Or to soup and wine night. Ask half the people to bring a bottle of wine, the other half to bring a pot of soup. What about a cookout? Beer and Bags and Barbeque!
I was invited to a get together once where the only person I knew was the hostess. I was uncomfortable for the first glass of wine. I was convinced everyone knew each other. As I sat and listened I heard introduction after introduction. These ladies had never met! That realization made me feel instantly at ease. I had a terrific time that evening and gained some really wonderful friends. I will always be forever grateful to the hostess who didn't care to keep her Circles separate.
What event will you host? Send me a message to let me know how it turned out!
And, if you're like most people, the Circles never seem to co-mingle. They kind of stand alone while you hop in and out, from one circle to the next.
So safe, isn't it? Every person in each group knows each other. Knows their quirks and personalities. Knows what to expect. Safe. Yes.
Why not shake things up a bit? Life is too short not to meet as many people as you can! This challenge will help with that...
This week's challenge is to Minus 10 Unintroduced Friends. Simply put, you will invite ten people who don't know each other to an event that you're going to host. Invite ten people from your different circles to a dinner party. Or a potluck. Or to soup and wine night. Ask half the people to bring a bottle of wine, the other half to bring a pot of soup. What about a cookout? Beer and Bags and Barbeque!
I was invited to a get together once where the only person I knew was the hostess. I was uncomfortable for the first glass of wine. I was convinced everyone knew each other. As I sat and listened I heard introduction after introduction. These ladies had never met! That realization made me feel instantly at ease. I had a terrific time that evening and gained some really wonderful friends. I will always be forever grateful to the hostess who didn't care to keep her Circles separate.
What event will you host? Send me a message to let me know how it turned out!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Minus 10 Automatic Negative Attribute Opinions
"I'm not going if Cheryl is there - she's rude and judgmental. You should hear the inappropriate things she says; everyone leaves feeling like crap."
"I can't believe I'm scheduled to work with Trisha. She's so annoying! Can't she find something to talk about other than that dog of hers? I swear she thinks it's human."
"I'm assuming there will be drinking involved. I don't think Bob can function without a drink in his hand."
We all jump to conclusions about people before we get to know them, but what happens after you've gotten to know them and you really aren't all that thrilled about them? What happens when that thing we don't like about a person keeps growing and growing until we're at the point we rush down a different aisle in the grocery store in the hopes of avoiding them?
Before we know it, the only thing we see in that person is what we dislike, with little to no room for anything positive. The truth is, we are all made up of both good and bad. Sometimes we just need help focusing on the positive (before our mind is consumed with the negative).
Look, thinking about someone in a positive light is not going to change them. The guy who drinks a ton, all the time, and ends up being the stumbling, rambling fool at every get-together will probably remain that way. The change will be in you. Instead of focusing on his shortcomings you'll be able to take a deep breath and say, "He is someone who will come dig your car out of a snow ditch no matter where you are in the county, no matter what time of day. He is good for that." (Which is much better than the alternative, "what an idiot. Always drinking and being obnoxious. Can't he get his act together?")
The challenge this week is to Minus 10 Automatic Negative Attribute Opinions you have about people you know and replace them with ten positive ones. And, you're right, it might not be easy.
I have a person in my life who is anything but kind towards me. I have been hurt by her nasty commentary too many times to count. When her name comes up I honestly feel a physical change in my body - in the blink of an eye I get angry. My mind screams, "The things she's said to me! To my children! She's petty and rude and inappropriate and hurtful and I don't deserve to be treated like that!" I honestly avoid her at all costs. She's just a mean person and it is not required that I continue to be hurt by her. But she's not entirely evil. There are positive things in her. For instance, when she goes on vacation she always thinks about her children. They are all grown, yet she still gets each one of them a gift from where ever it was she visited. She's very giving in that respect. I don't believe she'll ever change. She hurts others as much as she hurts me. But I must train my mind to see that singular grain of positivity within her, otherwise I'll be forever weighted down by the negative bulkiness of that person's personality.
I have tried to befriend another person who all I see is criticalness and anger. Every conversation, no matter how lighthearted, turns to a bitter monologue spewed from her lips. She drags the fun level down. Actually shoves it down, and stamps on it. And then spits on it. To say she is "not a happy person" is a complete understatement. Honestly, my life is too short to be spent listening to all that depressing negativity. I tried to be friends and I just can't. It wears me out. But she's not entirely bad either. She takes wonderful, beautiful photographs. She really has a gift when it comes to that. So, the next time her name comes up, instead of a curt, "oh, yes, I know her." I'll change my automatic response to "Oh, yes - she takes beautiful photographs!"
We do become captive of our own thoughts and ideas about any given situation. While we can't change the behavior of others, we can ensure our responses, even our private thoughts... are positive ones.
"I can't believe I'm scheduled to work with Trisha. She's so annoying! Can't she find something to talk about other than that dog of hers? I swear she thinks it's human."
"I'm assuming there will be drinking involved. I don't think Bob can function without a drink in his hand."
We all jump to conclusions about people before we get to know them, but what happens after you've gotten to know them and you really aren't all that thrilled about them? What happens when that thing we don't like about a person keeps growing and growing until we're at the point we rush down a different aisle in the grocery store in the hopes of avoiding them?
Before we know it, the only thing we see in that person is what we dislike, with little to no room for anything positive. The truth is, we are all made up of both good and bad. Sometimes we just need help focusing on the positive (before our mind is consumed with the negative).
Look, thinking about someone in a positive light is not going to change them. The guy who drinks a ton, all the time, and ends up being the stumbling, rambling fool at every get-together will probably remain that way. The change will be in you. Instead of focusing on his shortcomings you'll be able to take a deep breath and say, "He is someone who will come dig your car out of a snow ditch no matter where you are in the county, no matter what time of day. He is good for that." (Which is much better than the alternative, "what an idiot. Always drinking and being obnoxious. Can't he get his act together?")
The challenge this week is to Minus 10 Automatic Negative Attribute Opinions you have about people you know and replace them with ten positive ones. And, you're right, it might not be easy.
I have a person in my life who is anything but kind towards me. I have been hurt by her nasty commentary too many times to count. When her name comes up I honestly feel a physical change in my body - in the blink of an eye I get angry. My mind screams, "The things she's said to me! To my children! She's petty and rude and inappropriate and hurtful and I don't deserve to be treated like that!" I honestly avoid her at all costs. She's just a mean person and it is not required that I continue to be hurt by her. But she's not entirely evil. There are positive things in her. For instance, when she goes on vacation she always thinks about her children. They are all grown, yet she still gets each one of them a gift from where ever it was she visited. She's very giving in that respect. I don't believe she'll ever change. She hurts others as much as she hurts me. But I must train my mind to see that singular grain of positivity within her, otherwise I'll be forever weighted down by the negative bulkiness of that person's personality.
I have tried to befriend another person who all I see is criticalness and anger. Every conversation, no matter how lighthearted, turns to a bitter monologue spewed from her lips. She drags the fun level down. Actually shoves it down, and stamps on it. And then spits on it. To say she is "not a happy person" is a complete understatement. Honestly, my life is too short to be spent listening to all that depressing negativity. I tried to be friends and I just can't. It wears me out. But she's not entirely bad either. She takes wonderful, beautiful photographs. She really has a gift when it comes to that. So, the next time her name comes up, instead of a curt, "oh, yes, I know her." I'll change my automatic response to "Oh, yes - she takes beautiful photographs!"
We do become captive of our own thoughts and ideas about any given situation. While we can't change the behavior of others, we can ensure our responses, even our private thoughts... are positive ones.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Minus 10 Must-Pay-For-It Experiences
Somewhere along the line I've taught my children that "fun" can only be achieved if you pay for it. I believe it stems from the many times they've pleaded "can't we do something fun today?" And I've answered, "Sorry, but I don't have any money." Whatever we end up doing (at no cost) obviously isn't any fun because it wasn't paid for.
When I think of things that are fun to do I automatically think of going to the movies, or the zoo, or a play, or a restaurant. (See, all things that you pay for.) Then I immediately think of all the bills that need to be paid. And so, more times than I care to admit to - we end up moping around the house, clicking through the plethora of cable stations, finding, yet again, nothing to watch.
But there's so much to experience in life that doesn't cost money. And, yes - it can be FUN! This challenge encourages you to Minus 10 Must-Pay-For-It Experiences and come up with a list of ten free things you and your family can try. What's to lose? It's not costing you anything.
Contact your local municipality - do they have free concerts in the park? Free gardening classes? Free self-defense classes?
Check with your local school districts, many have free cultural fairs, orchestra concerts, elementary school plays.
Investigate your neighborhood. Maybe there are walking trails nearby that you've never been on. Or an arboretum waiting in full bloom to be discovered. Perhaps there is a bike path you've heard of that you'd like to try.
What about going for a walk around the neighborhood? Going on a picnic? Creating your own scavenger hunt? (One friend of mine took her toddler out for a color scavenger hunt. They walked around finding items of a certain color, took digital photos of them, then printed out their own 'Color Book' at home.)
Make a list of 10 things you can do for free and make it a point to go. What Free Fun for your family did you come up with?
Life should not be about the amount of money we throw at an activity. Teach your kids (and yourself) that there is plenty to experience and appreciate without spending any money.
When I think of things that are fun to do I automatically think of going to the movies, or the zoo, or a play, or a restaurant. (See, all things that you pay for.) Then I immediately think of all the bills that need to be paid. And so, more times than I care to admit to - we end up moping around the house, clicking through the plethora of cable stations, finding, yet again, nothing to watch.
But there's so much to experience in life that doesn't cost money. And, yes - it can be FUN! This challenge encourages you to Minus 10 Must-Pay-For-It Experiences and come up with a list of ten free things you and your family can try. What's to lose? It's not costing you anything.
Contact your local municipality - do they have free concerts in the park? Free gardening classes? Free self-defense classes?
Check with your local school districts, many have free cultural fairs, orchestra concerts, elementary school plays.
Investigate your neighborhood. Maybe there are walking trails nearby that you've never been on. Or an arboretum waiting in full bloom to be discovered. Perhaps there is a bike path you've heard of that you'd like to try.
What about going for a walk around the neighborhood? Going on a picnic? Creating your own scavenger hunt? (One friend of mine took her toddler out for a color scavenger hunt. They walked around finding items of a certain color, took digital photos of them, then printed out their own 'Color Book' at home.)
Make a list of 10 things you can do for free and make it a point to go. What Free Fun for your family did you come up with?
Life should not be about the amount of money we throw at an activity. Teach your kids (and yourself) that there is plenty to experience and appreciate without spending any money.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Minus 10 Expired Medications
The cough started two days ago and got worse through the night. At two o'clock this morning I dragged the chair over to the medicine cabinet, climbed atop, and opened the cupboard. I pulled out the plastic storage bin I keep the medicines in. It was over flowing with prescription medications and over the counter medications. All mixed together like a giant medicinal stew.
Ever eat a stew and realize there are no potatoes? That's how I felt. Forty thousand medications and not one for a child's cough. Three unopened bottles of Nyquil. Infant Tylenol from when my 8-year old was a baby... it was painfully obvious I had no idea what medications I had on hand. Items were outdated and couldn't be used, and yet I was storing them.
What's in your medicine cabinet?
This week's challenge is to Minus 10 Expired Medications. Gather all the medications you have in the house. Now, check the expiration date; properly dispose of the medications that are out-of-date. Take a quick inventory of the items you have on hand. Do you have what you need?
Some families may want to keep Tums on hand, while other families don't have that sensitivity. I have a baby at home - I better make sure I have fever reducing medication in stock. Think of what you commonly ails you or other members in your family. Allergies? Coughs? Headaches? Muscle pain? Stocking up and organizing now will save you that 2am run to the 24-hour pharmacy (located twenty minutes away because there isn't one in your town).
Ever eat a stew and realize there are no potatoes? That's how I felt. Forty thousand medications and not one for a child's cough. Three unopened bottles of Nyquil. Infant Tylenol from when my 8-year old was a baby... it was painfully obvious I had no idea what medications I had on hand. Items were outdated and couldn't be used, and yet I was storing them.
What's in your medicine cabinet?
This week's challenge is to Minus 10 Expired Medications. Gather all the medications you have in the house. Now, check the expiration date; properly dispose of the medications that are out-of-date. Take a quick inventory of the items you have on hand. Do you have what you need?
Some families may want to keep Tums on hand, while other families don't have that sensitivity. I have a baby at home - I better make sure I have fever reducing medication in stock. Think of what you commonly ails you or other members in your family. Allergies? Coughs? Headaches? Muscle pain? Stocking up and organizing now will save you that 2am run to the 24-hour pharmacy (located twenty minutes away because there isn't one in your town).
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Minus 10 Inactive Brain Cells
When trying to make life simpler, it isn't all about giving things up and letting go. Sometimes it's about grabbing on to something new. A lot of times it's something you've never heard of before.
It is virtually impossible to know everything there is to know about everything. That's why we talk to people, discuss our problems, vent - we're looking for other ways. Other ideas. It's why we click on AP headlines and watch the news. There's stuff to know - and we should want to know as much of it as we can.
It is such a wonderful feeling to experience that "a-ha!" moment, that feeling of hope, relief, excitement when we learn something new. A new understanding. A new possibility. A new way of doing things. It spices up life and makes it enjoyable.
It's time we grab hold of something new! This challenge is all about learning something you never knew before. Minus 10 Inactive Brain Cells and use them instead, to learn ten new things.
Look, life is simply too short not to learn as much as you can about the place you reside.
It is virtually impossible to know everything there is to know about everything. That's why we talk to people, discuss our problems, vent - we're looking for other ways. Other ideas. It's why we click on AP headlines and watch the news. There's stuff to know - and we should want to know as much of it as we can.
It is such a wonderful feeling to experience that "a-ha!" moment, that feeling of hope, relief, excitement when we learn something new. A new understanding. A new possibility. A new way of doing things. It spices up life and makes it enjoyable.
It's time we grab hold of something new! This challenge is all about learning something you never knew before. Minus 10 Inactive Brain Cells and use them instead, to learn ten new things.
Sign up for a knitting class at your local craft store.
Read a random article on Wikipedia.
Never understood what Spinal Tap was all about?
Rent the movie.
Rent the movie.
Research how asphalt is made.
Figure out what the Pythagorean theorem is all about.
Take a zumba class.
Learn how to make your own paper.
Figure out who Hôjô Masako is and why she's considered "famous."
Learn about the highest peaks in Africa.
Look, life is simply too short not to learn as much as you can about the place you reside.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Minus 10 Unused Cards and Envelopes
Research has proven that people hate getting bills in their mail. Research has also shown that people get giddy over seeing a handwritten-addressed envelope in their mailbox. Ok, well, the research is actually solely based on how I feel getting an actual card or letter in my mailbox, but if I can get that excited, think of how others might feel.
It seems the only things being sent to me lately are bills, credit card applications and census information. It's time to spread a little cheer!
The challenge this week is to Minus 10 Unused Cards and Envelopes! Gather up ten cards and envelopes you have in the house and SEND THEM OUT to friends and family. Got an unused Halloween card sitting in your desk drawer? Who cares that it's not actually Halloween? Write a note and mail it! Cross out the preprinted text if you must, but send it out.
No greeting cards on hand? Find a piece of paper and write on it - the back of a take out menu, the flip side of a drawing your child made, even a page torn from a coloring book. Don't think about it -- just use it. Life is too short not to send a smile through the mail.
It seems the only things being sent to me lately are bills, credit card applications and census information. It's time to spread a little cheer!
The challenge this week is to Minus 10 Unused Cards and Envelopes! Gather up ten cards and envelopes you have in the house and SEND THEM OUT to friends and family. Got an unused Halloween card sitting in your desk drawer? Who cares that it's not actually Halloween? Write a note and mail it! Cross out the preprinted text if you must, but send it out.
No greeting cards on hand? Find a piece of paper and write on it - the back of a take out menu, the flip side of a drawing your child made, even a page torn from a coloring book. Don't think about it -- just use it. Life is too short not to send a smile through the mail.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Minus 10 Days of Unnecessary Purchases
I can't believe I'm going to propose this challenge. I'm breathing through a brown paper bag as I type this: Minus 10 Days of Unnecessary Purchases.
I started this blog as a way to encourage myself (and hopefully others) into getting things back into perspective. Balancing things out. Sorting out priorities. I believe small changes reap huge results.
See, there are things we need and there are things we want. That's not to say that one should go through life without anything we ever want; it's saying we should understand the difference.
I'll go to the store for formula for the baby. That's a need. When I also pick up the next book we're reading for Book Club that's a want. Even when it's 10% off.
I need to get my daughter shoes that fit for gym class. The super-cute sundress - want.
I need saline solution to ensure my contact lenses are clean and ultimately safe to place in my eyes. I want the pen for work.
And so it is decided that for the next ten days - yes, ten days - the goal shall be to minus the purchases of anything unnecessary. If it's a want it stays on the shelf. Doesn't matter if it's a ninety-nine cent tube of lotion; if you have three bottle of lotion at home waiting for you then you don't need it. If you don't need it, you don't buy it. It's that simple.
For the next ten days keep track of everything you wanted to buy and how much it cost. At the end of the ten days look over your list. How much additional money would you have spent? How many of those items will you make it a point to go back and get? All of them? Or just a couple? Did you find that something you might have purchased on Day 3 you're really not that interested in anymore?
I started this blog as a way to encourage myself (and hopefully others) into getting things back into perspective. Balancing things out. Sorting out priorities. I believe small changes reap huge results.
See, there are things we need and there are things we want. That's not to say that one should go through life without anything we ever want; it's saying we should understand the difference.
I'll go to the store for formula for the baby. That's a need. When I also pick up the next book we're reading for Book Club that's a want. Even when it's 10% off.
I need to get my daughter shoes that fit for gym class. The super-cute sundress - want.
I need saline solution to ensure my contact lenses are clean and ultimately safe to place in my eyes. I want the pen for work.
And so it is decided that for the next ten days - yes, ten days - the goal shall be to minus the purchases of anything unnecessary. If it's a want it stays on the shelf. Doesn't matter if it's a ninety-nine cent tube of lotion; if you have three bottle of lotion at home waiting for you then you don't need it. If you don't need it, you don't buy it. It's that simple.
For the next ten days keep track of everything you wanted to buy and how much it cost. At the end of the ten days look over your list. How much additional money would you have spent? How many of those items will you make it a point to go back and get? All of them? Or just a couple? Did you find that something you might have purchased on Day 3 you're really not that interested in anymore?
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Minus 10 Not So Healthy Choices
Once this week I will not eat that bowl of cheetos; instead I will eat a serving of cottage cheese.
Once this week I will make my sandwich on wheat bread instead of white.
Once this week I will pass up the cookie and snack on a banana instead.
Once this week I will ask for apple slices instead of french fries.
Once this week I will eat a bowl of oatmeal instead of that donut slathered in glaze.
Once this week I will order the Nonfat Sugar-free Vanilla Latte instead of my regular drink of choice at Starbucks.
Once this week I will eat salsa instead of the creamy dip.
Once this week I will order a sandwich from Panera instead of a Whopper from Burger King.
Once this week I will take eat two servings of vegetables instead of one. (Or none.)
The challenge this week is simple sounding. Minus 10 Not So Healthy Choices, opting for a healthier substitute. It's like saving your change in a jar... it doesn't look like much until you add it all up at the end.
Once this week I will make my sandwich on wheat bread instead of white.
Once this week I will pass up the cookie and snack on a banana instead.
Once this week I will ask for apple slices instead of french fries.
Once this week I will eat a bowl of oatmeal instead of that donut slathered in glaze.
Once this week I will order the Nonfat Sugar-free Vanilla Latte instead of my regular drink of choice at Starbucks.
Once this week I will eat salsa instead of the creamy dip.
Once this week I will order a sandwich from Panera instead of a Whopper from Burger King.
Once this week I will take eat two servings of vegetables instead of one. (Or none.)
The challenge this week is simple sounding. Minus 10 Not So Healthy Choices, opting for a healthier substitute. It's like saving your change in a jar... it doesn't look like much until you add it all up at the end.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Minus 10 Complaining Comments
No one in my home knows how to properly fold a towel and place it back neatly on the towel bar.
My oldest daughter brushes her teeth and always leaves a glob of toothpaste at the bottom of the sink. Always.
We're required to park on the far side of the lot at work, but the part-time intern takes the prime spot by the door. Every single day.
My co-worker comes to work and shuts the closet door in such a way that half the arm of his coat is sticking out.
People come in to the office to fill out paperwork and they just grab my pen on my desk - without asking.
When my boyfriend talks on the phone he has no problem sitting right next to me to talk... loudly... even if I'm watching a really good tv show.
My brother is living with the girl who only cheated on him twice.
These things bother me. Upset me. Irk me. Make me mad. I don't understand the why behind such actions. To me, it's so unbelievably simple and obvious and, well, logical. Hang up the towel so it not only looks nice but dries properly. Wipe out the sink when you're done or use less toothpaste. Park where you're supposed to. Make sure nothing is sticking out of the door when you close it. Ask before taking. Have your private conversation out of earshot. Cheating is not allowed.
These are my issues. I know they are. I complain, yell, plead, rant and make sarcastic comments like, "Oh, I saw this look in a Home & Gardens magazine; everyone hangs their towels this way. It's the new look of the elite." Yet nothing changes. Because these are my issues.
I'm positive I do things that bother other people. I know this because I've heard it. Funny thing, though, I don't change because I'm okay with the way I am and I'm quick to point this out. "Maybe you don't like the seventeen books piled up on the bed stand, so what? It's my bed stand!"
See, I'm actually upset that you said something to me... not that you might not like my books. Because when you said something it felt like you were judging me and that hurt.
Wouldn't it make sense then that when I complain, yell, plead, rant and make comments that it hurts the feelings of others? That they would (rightfully) feel I was judging them?
This week's challenge is to Minus Ten Complaining Comments and replace them with biting your tongue. Look, it just doesn't need to be said. Those pet peeves might 'bother' you but they don't 'hurt' you. There's a big difference in those two words.
After you're done biting your tongue - take it a step further and find a positive about the situation. Here's what I know:
I'm lucky the towels find their way up to the towel bars. A lot of people struggle with getting them off the floor.
My oldest daughter has a beautiful smile. Her teeth are gorgeous! She takes care of them and I appreciate that.
I get more exercise parking farther away. In fact, it wouldn't hurt if I parked across the street.
The coat looks way more professional sticking out of our back closet than hanging off the back of his chair or dumped in a corner of his cubicle. There actually are worse places for it to be.
At least the paperwork is getting filled out in front of me. I can easily see if any information is missing and let the applicant know right away.
I have a boyfriend who feels completely open having a conversation with his friends while sitting right next to me. No hiding out in the other room, or walking outside. I don't have to worry.
My brother is forgiving. That's a pretty decent quality to possess. (Much better than my getting upset over a towel not hung to my standards.)
My oldest daughter brushes her teeth and always leaves a glob of toothpaste at the bottom of the sink. Always.
We're required to park on the far side of the lot at work, but the part-time intern takes the prime spot by the door. Every single day.
My co-worker comes to work and shuts the closet door in such a way that half the arm of his coat is sticking out.
People come in to the office to fill out paperwork and they just grab my pen on my desk - without asking.
When my boyfriend talks on the phone he has no problem sitting right next to me to talk... loudly... even if I'm watching a really good tv show.
My brother is living with the girl who only cheated on him twice.
These things bother me. Upset me. Irk me. Make me mad. I don't understand the why behind such actions. To me, it's so unbelievably simple and obvious and, well, logical. Hang up the towel so it not only looks nice but dries properly. Wipe out the sink when you're done or use less toothpaste. Park where you're supposed to. Make sure nothing is sticking out of the door when you close it. Ask before taking. Have your private conversation out of earshot. Cheating is not allowed.
These are my issues. I know they are. I complain, yell, plead, rant and make sarcastic comments like, "Oh, I saw this look in a Home & Gardens magazine; everyone hangs their towels this way. It's the new look of the elite." Yet nothing changes. Because these are my issues.
I'm positive I do things that bother other people. I know this because I've heard it. Funny thing, though, I don't change because I'm okay with the way I am and I'm quick to point this out. "Maybe you don't like the seventeen books piled up on the bed stand, so what? It's my bed stand!"
See, I'm actually upset that you said something to me... not that you might not like my books. Because when you said something it felt like you were judging me and that hurt.
Wouldn't it make sense then that when I complain, yell, plead, rant and make comments that it hurts the feelings of others? That they would (rightfully) feel I was judging them?
This week's challenge is to Minus Ten Complaining Comments and replace them with biting your tongue. Look, it just doesn't need to be said. Those pet peeves might 'bother' you but they don't 'hurt' you. There's a big difference in those two words.
After you're done biting your tongue - take it a step further and find a positive about the situation. Here's what I know:
I'm lucky the towels find their way up to the towel bars. A lot of people struggle with getting them off the floor.
My oldest daughter has a beautiful smile. Her teeth are gorgeous! She takes care of them and I appreciate that.
I get more exercise parking farther away. In fact, it wouldn't hurt if I parked across the street.
The coat looks way more professional sticking out of our back closet than hanging off the back of his chair or dumped in a corner of his cubicle. There actually are worse places for it to be.
At least the paperwork is getting filled out in front of me. I can easily see if any information is missing and let the applicant know right away.
I have a boyfriend who feels completely open having a conversation with his friends while sitting right next to me. No hiding out in the other room, or walking outside. I don't have to worry.
My brother is forgiving. That's a pretty decent quality to possess. (Much better than my getting upset over a towel not hung to my standards.)
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Minus 10 Gross Foods
Day after day I hear the same thing: There's nothing to eat!
Of course, I'm convinced there is plenty of wonderful food to eat because our pantry seems to be bursting at the seams. Obviously they are wrong.
Except, they aren't.
A quick inventory of our pantry included things like a package of instant (dry) gravy mix (which entered our home somewhere around 1998) and four boxes of noodles (all about an eighth full of actual noodles) and a spray can of frosting. Yes, a spray can of frosting. Partially emptied two years ago. There is also a can of something that resembles soup. No one remembers purchasing it and no one dares to consume it.
It's time to clean out the pantry.
Sounds easy, doesn't it? Except I have been trained to believe that throwing out food you know you will never eat is still a sin. The Patron Saints of Wasted Food will banish me eternally to hell if I actually throw out the can of anchovies that's been sitting on the shelf for the past seven years. Even though I would bet my life I'll never open the can, much less eat whatever is in there, I'm not sure I'm willing to bet my eternal resting place.
Therefore, I am making a challenge that allows me, as well as others, the opportunity to rid the pantry once and for all of all the things we know we will never open, use, or eat - guilt free. Part of balancing life is to find the courage to get rid of anything and everything that isn't useful, functioning, serving a purpose or providing enjoyment. For me, lima beans are on that list.
This week's challenge is to Minus 10 Gross Foods so you have the space to replace them with ten good ones.
Of course, I'm convinced there is plenty of wonderful food to eat because our pantry seems to be bursting at the seams. Obviously they are wrong.
Except, they aren't.
A quick inventory of our pantry included things like a package of instant (dry) gravy mix (which entered our home somewhere around 1998) and four boxes of noodles (all about an eighth full of actual noodles) and a spray can of frosting. Yes, a spray can of frosting. Partially emptied two years ago. There is also a can of something that resembles soup. No one remembers purchasing it and no one dares to consume it.
It's time to clean out the pantry.
Sounds easy, doesn't it? Except I have been trained to believe that throwing out food you know you will never eat is still a sin. The Patron Saints of Wasted Food will banish me eternally to hell if I actually throw out the can of anchovies that's been sitting on the shelf for the past seven years. Even though I would bet my life I'll never open the can, much less eat whatever is in there, I'm not sure I'm willing to bet my eternal resting place.
Therefore, I am making a challenge that allows me, as well as others, the opportunity to rid the pantry once and for all of all the things we know we will never open, use, or eat - guilt free. Part of balancing life is to find the courage to get rid of anything and everything that isn't useful, functioning, serving a purpose or providing enjoyment. For me, lima beans are on that list.
This week's challenge is to Minus 10 Gross Foods so you have the space to replace them with ten good ones.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Minus 10 I'm Too Tired Excuses
My morning drive to the office this morning focused on sex. Specifically, the fact that most women are "too tired" to have sex. So they aren't having sex with their partner. Like ever.
I usually laugh off the people calling in to a radio show (particularly some guy willing to announce that he hasn't had sex with his wife since November), but then it hit me ... this guy has not had sex with his wife since November. He didn't sound mad. Or angry. Or ticked off. He sounded sad. He sounded lonely.
He understood the feeling - in fact, he felt she was justified in her tiredness. The stresses of working full time, taking care of the kids, going to school to finish her degree, volunteering at church, cleaning the house, grocery shopping, folding the laundry -- it's a lot to take on and would leave anyone feeling exhausted. He tried to help as much as he could, but she was still tired.
Here's what it is (and ladies, you may get mad at me - particularly the tired ones): Men feel loved when you have sex with them.
Yes, I know, I know. Women feel loved when men offer to get the groceries, cook dinner, make sure the children's homework is done, bring the garbage cans in from the roadside, let us watch what we want to watch on television, pay the bills, fight with the insurance company, organize school lunches, surprise us by getting all the laundry done, clean out the car, and anything and everything else that would take one thing off our plate without us having to tell them, beg them or threaten them to do it.
Remember when we were little and we were upset because some kid on the school ground made fun of our backpack? And our mom explained that we couldn't hurl an insult back just to "get even?" That instead we would collect more flies with honey and the next time we saw that person we should give a genuine compliment?
Guess what? That still works.
This month's challenge is to Minus 10 I'm Too Tired Excuses and instead have sex, kiss, touch, enjoy your partner when you'd rather just roll over and pretend to be asleep. (In case you didn't know, if you really like someone and they pretend to be asleep when you try to pay attention to them it hurts. It hurts deep. So don't do it. Because it's mean.)
And if you honestly find yourself too tired then please, for the sake of your relationship, choose to put the unimportant things on the back burner. Turn the television off at 9. Don't worry about that load of laundry; you can fold it tomorrow. Write out that bill at lunch the next day. Instead, go collect your flies with honey.
I usually laugh off the people calling in to a radio show (particularly some guy willing to announce that he hasn't had sex with his wife since November), but then it hit me ... this guy has not had sex with his wife since November. He didn't sound mad. Or angry. Or ticked off. He sounded sad. He sounded lonely.
He understood the feeling - in fact, he felt she was justified in her tiredness. The stresses of working full time, taking care of the kids, going to school to finish her degree, volunteering at church, cleaning the house, grocery shopping, folding the laundry -- it's a lot to take on and would leave anyone feeling exhausted. He tried to help as much as he could, but she was still tired.
Here's what it is (and ladies, you may get mad at me - particularly the tired ones): Men feel loved when you have sex with them.
Yes, I know, I know. Women feel loved when men offer to get the groceries, cook dinner, make sure the children's homework is done, bring the garbage cans in from the roadside, let us watch what we want to watch on television, pay the bills, fight with the insurance company, organize school lunches, surprise us by getting all the laundry done, clean out the car, and anything and everything else that would take one thing off our plate without us having to tell them, beg them or threaten them to do it.
Remember when we were little and we were upset because some kid on the school ground made fun of our backpack? And our mom explained that we couldn't hurl an insult back just to "get even?" That instead we would collect more flies with honey and the next time we saw that person we should give a genuine compliment?
Guess what? That still works.
This month's challenge is to Minus 10 I'm Too Tired Excuses and instead have sex, kiss, touch, enjoy your partner when you'd rather just roll over and pretend to be asleep. (In case you didn't know, if you really like someone and they pretend to be asleep when you try to pay attention to them it hurts. It hurts deep. So don't do it. Because it's mean.)
And if you honestly find yourself too tired then please, for the sake of your relationship, choose to put the unimportant things on the back burner. Turn the television off at 9. Don't worry about that load of laundry; you can fold it tomorrow. Write out that bill at lunch the next day. Instead, go collect your flies with honey.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Minus 10 "Same old - Same old"
Once again we find ourselves in the car having the same conversation we've had a thousand times before knowing it will end the same way it always does: at the McDonald's drive-thru unless there's not a long wait at Chili's.
"Are you hungry?"
"Starved!"
"Where would you like to go?"
"I don't care. Some place different. Some place we haven't been before."
"Ok."
[long awkward pause]
"Got any ideas?"
"Umm... well... what about that one place downtown?"
"We go there all the time."
"Not all the time."
"A lot of the time."
"Fine. Pick some place else."
Ugh! This conversation is getting old. We have great intentions but something happens in the confines of that vehicle that prohibits any inspirational ideas from possibly forming. I find my mind completely blank of any and all restaurants located within the entire county except the two we always go to.
And so, it is with great excitement that I introduce this week's challenge to you. A challenge designed to introduce you to new places, new food, new conversation and new memories. This week your goal is to write down 10 restaurants in the area that you have never been to before. Write down their names, addresses, hours of operation and phone numbers. You will then place one copy of The List in the glove compartment of each vehicle you own.
The next time dinner is mentioned go to The List. Pick a place and go to it. Don't even question it. Don't discuss it other than, "I'm so excited to see what this place is like!" Don't hesitate. Just drive to it.
Life is short. Try something new.
"Are you hungry?"
"Starved!"
"Where would you like to go?"
"I don't care. Some place different. Some place we haven't been before."
"Ok."
[long awkward pause]
"Got any ideas?"
"Umm... well... what about that one place downtown?"
"We go there all the time."
"Not all the time."
"A lot of the time."
"Fine. Pick some place else."
Ugh! This conversation is getting old. We have great intentions but something happens in the confines of that vehicle that prohibits any inspirational ideas from possibly forming. I find my mind completely blank of any and all restaurants located within the entire county except the two we always go to.
And so, it is with great excitement that I introduce this week's challenge to you. A challenge designed to introduce you to new places, new food, new conversation and new memories. This week your goal is to write down 10 restaurants in the area that you have never been to before. Write down their names, addresses, hours of operation and phone numbers. You will then place one copy of The List in the glove compartment of each vehicle you own.
The next time dinner is mentioned go to The List. Pick a place and go to it. Don't even question it. Don't discuss it other than, "I'm so excited to see what this place is like!" Don't hesitate. Just drive to it.
Life is short. Try something new.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Minus 10 Prime Parking Spaces
Two things:
1.) I need to exercise my body more.
2.) I need to exercise my patience more.
I believe this can be accomplished in a parking lot.
Like a scene from an old western, I watched as the driver of the car opposite me squinted his eyes, gripped his fingers around his steering wheel, and slammed the gas pedal so hard smoke and squeals could be seen and heard miles away. All so he could fly into the parking space I had been patiently waiting for. (The nerve.)
I admit, it got under my skin. Isn't there proper parking lot protocol that says, "He who waits gets the space?" And that's when I realized I was getting upset because someone obviously really, really, really needed this space more than I did. Maybe he had a good reason. Maybe he didn't.
Perhaps there had been times when proper parking lot protocol had been followed and I got the prime spot... causing an elderly man to walk further than he should have to. Or a mother to have to guide her three toddlers through a maze of holiday parking hell longer than she would like to. Or a student getting over a sprained ankle wishing he could drive right up to the pharmacy counter for his pain medication rather than walk this far through an icy lot.
And what's so wrong with walking anyway? It makes your body move. It allows you to breathe in fresh air. It gives you a second to just walk, perhaps thinking nothing at all.
The challenge this week is "Minus 10 Prime Parking Spaces." Consciously decide to give up the 10 best parking spaces for someone else to use. Pass by 10 empty spaces in one aisle and walk to the store. Give your mind a break and allow your legs to work. Avoid the gunfighter drama and just drive by. Take ten deep breaths on your way in to the store, and another ten on the way back to your car. Trust me, it'll be worth it.
1.) I need to exercise my body more.
2.) I need to exercise my patience more.
I believe this can be accomplished in a parking lot.
Like a scene from an old western, I watched as the driver of the car opposite me squinted his eyes, gripped his fingers around his steering wheel, and slammed the gas pedal so hard smoke and squeals could be seen and heard miles away. All so he could fly into the parking space I had been patiently waiting for. (The nerve.)
I admit, it got under my skin. Isn't there proper parking lot protocol that says, "He who waits gets the space?" And that's when I realized I was getting upset because someone obviously really, really, really needed this space more than I did. Maybe he had a good reason. Maybe he didn't.
Perhaps there had been times when proper parking lot protocol had been followed and I got the prime spot... causing an elderly man to walk further than he should have to. Or a mother to have to guide her three toddlers through a maze of holiday parking hell longer than she would like to. Or a student getting over a sprained ankle wishing he could drive right up to the pharmacy counter for his pain medication rather than walk this far through an icy lot.
And what's so wrong with walking anyway? It makes your body move. It allows you to breathe in fresh air. It gives you a second to just walk, perhaps thinking nothing at all.
The challenge this week is "Minus 10 Prime Parking Spaces." Consciously decide to give up the 10 best parking spaces for someone else to use. Pass by 10 empty spaces in one aisle and walk to the store. Give your mind a break and allow your legs to work. Avoid the gunfighter drama and just drive by. Take ten deep breaths on your way in to the store, and another ten on the way back to your car. Trust me, it'll be worth it.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Minus 10 Negative Thoughts About YOUR Life
Let's see...
I need to lose weight. My teeth could be whiter. I don't have all my debt paid off yet. My car needs a new radiator tank. I'm not even sure why. I drink too much soda and don't have nearly enough energy to get through my day; don't get me started on my job - we'll be here all night. My kids are whiney, my dog is destructive and my eyesight is failing. I'm going to need a stronger prescription soon.
What? Not enjoying my company? I'm happy. Really. I appreciate life. I do. Don't I?
Sometimes we find ourselves tangled in a web of negativity. Have you ever watched someone after walking through a spider web? Arms and legs flailing, spitting out imagined grossness. It's hard to be happy, enjoying life when wrestling with all the things wrong with it.
Sometimes the things we feel are wrong with our lives are loud, relentless. Much like that kid poking his mother: "Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. I need to talk to you. Mom. Mom." You can try to explain that you'll gladly be with him in a minute but he just doesn't give up, following you from room to room until finally you give in. And he wins. And you're exhausted and all you want to do is sit there and cry because no matter what you do nothing is right.
The trick is to try to pay more attention to what's right in your life than what's wrong.
Your challenge this week is to get rid of 10 complaints and replace them with 10 positive statements about what you appreciate in your life. Do this every single day. 10 good things each and every day. Written down on a piece of paper. Kept in a place you can see them. Taped on the bathroom mirror. Or refrigerator door. Or on the steering wheel in your car. Anywhere that you will see them and be reminded of how many good things you get to experience in life.
It might be hard at first. You may find yourself writing down, "I can breathe on my own." But, trust me. That really is AWESOME that you can breathe on your own. If you don't believe me, talk to someone on a medical ventilator. I'm almost positive they'd agree with me.
1.) Reading a good book that leaves me slightly exhausted at the end because I've lived several lives while reading it.
2.) Waking up to the smell of freshly cut grass.
3.) The sounds of toads croaking in the distance during a lightning storm.
4.) Finding forgotten money in the pocket of a coat I haven't worn in months.
5.) Hearing a great song on the radio just after I thought it would be absolutely impossible for another great song to be recorded.
6.) The sound of a cello.
7.) Laughing out loud unexpectedly.
8.) The sound of those little round air vents inside an airplane.
9.) Really crisp bed sheets.
10.) Finding a great pen to write with, especially if it's heavy.
I need to lose weight. My teeth could be whiter. I don't have all my debt paid off yet. My car needs a new radiator tank. I'm not even sure why. I drink too much soda and don't have nearly enough energy to get through my day; don't get me started on my job - we'll be here all night. My kids are whiney, my dog is destructive and my eyesight is failing. I'm going to need a stronger prescription soon.
What? Not enjoying my company? I'm happy. Really. I appreciate life. I do. Don't I?
Sometimes we find ourselves tangled in a web of negativity. Have you ever watched someone after walking through a spider web? Arms and legs flailing, spitting out imagined grossness. It's hard to be happy, enjoying life when wrestling with all the things wrong with it.
Sometimes the things we feel are wrong with our lives are loud, relentless. Much like that kid poking his mother: "Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. I need to talk to you. Mom. Mom." You can try to explain that you'll gladly be with him in a minute but he just doesn't give up, following you from room to room until finally you give in. And he wins. And you're exhausted and all you want to do is sit there and cry because no matter what you do nothing is right.
The trick is to try to pay more attention to what's right in your life than what's wrong.
Your challenge this week is to get rid of 10 complaints and replace them with 10 positive statements about what you appreciate in your life. Do this every single day. 10 good things each and every day. Written down on a piece of paper. Kept in a place you can see them. Taped on the bathroom mirror. Or refrigerator door. Or on the steering wheel in your car. Anywhere that you will see them and be reminded of how many good things you get to experience in life.
It might be hard at first. You may find yourself writing down, "I can breathe on my own." But, trust me. That really is AWESOME that you can breathe on your own. If you don't believe me, talk to someone on a medical ventilator. I'm almost positive they'd agree with me.
10 THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY LIFE
Day 1
1.) Reading a good book that leaves me slightly exhausted at the end because I've lived several lives while reading it.
2.) Waking up to the smell of freshly cut grass.
3.) The sounds of toads croaking in the distance during a lightning storm.
4.) Finding forgotten money in the pocket of a coat I haven't worn in months.
5.) Hearing a great song on the radio just after I thought it would be absolutely impossible for another great song to be recorded.
6.) The sound of a cello.
7.) Laughing out loud unexpectedly.
8.) The sound of those little round air vents inside an airplane.
9.) Really crisp bed sheets.
10.) Finding a great pen to write with, especially if it's heavy.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Minus 10 Tech Filled Evenings
The cell phone bill came the other day. No big surprise - I've got everything "unlimited" so it's pretty much the same fee every month. But this time I looked at the detail.
My fourteen year old daughter made 5,547 text messages this past month. That's about 185 text messages per day. That, my friends, is way too many.
I quickly reviewed my usage: 298 texts (not bad), but, based on my call usage, the actual amount of time I spent talking was probably the reason why the text messages were so low. I thought about when I use my cell phone... mostly in the car, coming and going, dropping kids off here and there. And it hit me: here I am in a car with my children and I'm talking to someone else. As if they weren't all that important to me. Which reminded me of how I feel when I snuggle up close to Matt to watch a movie on TV and his phone rings. And he answers it. And he talks to someone else about some unimportant-to-me college basketball game. And I feel unimportant-to-him.
Here we are, surrounded by people we can interact with - that we should interact with - and yet we're on some sort of quest to find a voice on the other end of that cell phone or tapping on a keyboard hoping for a thrilling IM conversation to fill the time.
The challenge this month will be this: 10 Tech Free Evenings. Unplug the cell phone. Turn off the computer. Vow not to text, type or talk to anyone not physically in the same space as you. Got a quick question for your sister asking what church she reccomends with excellent youth ministry programs? Write a quick note to call and ask tomorrow. Suddenly remember the adorable to-do list your youngest wrote and how she included "tell grandma I love her" -- make a note to call grandma after you drop the kids off at school.
Get to learn the people in your home again. Be an example to your children about how to hold a conversation. How to listen. How to make someone you care about feel important. When your spouse is talking to you and your phone rings, hit ignore and say, "I'd rather keep talking with you."
My fourteen year old daughter made 5,547 text messages this past month. That's about 185 text messages per day. That, my friends, is way too many.
I quickly reviewed my usage: 298 texts (not bad), but, based on my call usage, the actual amount of time I spent talking was probably the reason why the text messages were so low. I thought about when I use my cell phone... mostly in the car, coming and going, dropping kids off here and there. And it hit me: here I am in a car with my children and I'm talking to someone else. As if they weren't all that important to me. Which reminded me of how I feel when I snuggle up close to Matt to watch a movie on TV and his phone rings. And he answers it. And he talks to someone else about some unimportant-to-me college basketball game. And I feel unimportant-to-him.
Here we are, surrounded by people we can interact with - that we should interact with - and yet we're on some sort of quest to find a voice on the other end of that cell phone or tapping on a keyboard hoping for a thrilling IM conversation to fill the time.
The challenge this month will be this: 10 Tech Free Evenings. Unplug the cell phone. Turn off the computer. Vow not to text, type or talk to anyone not physically in the same space as you. Got a quick question for your sister asking what church she reccomends with excellent youth ministry programs? Write a quick note to call and ask tomorrow. Suddenly remember the adorable to-do list your youngest wrote and how she included "tell grandma I love her" -- make a note to call grandma after you drop the kids off at school.
Get to learn the people in your home again. Be an example to your children about how to hold a conversation. How to listen. How to make someone you care about feel important. When your spouse is talking to you and your phone rings, hit ignore and say, "I'd rather keep talking with you."
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Minus 10 Blank Walk-bys.
I’ve become quite automatic in regards to my day. I wake up, shower, dress, head out the door at the same time every morning. I get to work, grab my morning dose of caffeine and settle in for the day. I answer the phone the same way every time it rings. People come in, drop off papers, I take them; stamp the received date on the top. I go home on the same roads I’ve driven that morning.
I claim I don’t “see anyone.” Ever. Today, no less than five people have stopped in and I couldn’t tell you what they were wearing or how they wore their hair. I stopped at a drive-through for lunch. I remember handing over money, but I couldn’t tell you what the person looked like that took my money. More than likely they were wearing a name tag. I didn’t bother to look at it.
We’re always in such a rush. Get in the store. Get out of the store. Pick up the bread. Drop off the water bill. I’m not exactly sure I even know what I’m rushing for. To get done fast. To cross things off my list. To have more time. I’m with a thousand other people rushing around me, only I never take the time to see them.
This week’s challenge is to reduce those blank if-I-stare-straight-ahead-then-I-don't-see-you-and-I-can-continue-on-my-way walk-by's we're so used to. Instead of rushing past, it is your goal this week to see if you can purposefully make eye contact, smile, and say hello to TEN complete strangers. Instead of holding the door and silently whisking by seconds later, hold the door and say, “Good Afternoon” or “Don’t worry, I’ve got that for you,” while you smile and look them in the eye.
Does it change how you see the people rushing by? Do you think it changes their attitude? Does it change yours? How many positive responses did you get? And were there any negative? How did you feel when you walked away? Did you walk any slower?
I claim I don’t “see anyone.” Ever. Today, no less than five people have stopped in and I couldn’t tell you what they were wearing or how they wore their hair. I stopped at a drive-through for lunch. I remember handing over money, but I couldn’t tell you what the person looked like that took my money. More than likely they were wearing a name tag. I didn’t bother to look at it.
We’re always in such a rush. Get in the store. Get out of the store. Pick up the bread. Drop off the water bill. I’m not exactly sure I even know what I’m rushing for. To get done fast. To cross things off my list. To have more time. I’m with a thousand other people rushing around me, only I never take the time to see them.
This week’s challenge is to reduce those blank if-I-stare-straight-ahead-then-I-don't-see-you-and-I-can-continue-on-my-way walk-by's we're so used to. Instead of rushing past, it is your goal this week to see if you can purposefully make eye contact, smile, and say hello to TEN complete strangers. Instead of holding the door and silently whisking by seconds later, hold the door and say, “Good Afternoon” or “Don’t worry, I’ve got that for you,” while you smile and look them in the eye.
Does it change how you see the people rushing by? Do you think it changes their attitude? Does it change yours? How many positive responses did you get? And were there any negative? How did you feel when you walked away? Did you walk any slower?
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Minus 10 Unspoken Compliments
Life is fleeting.
We know that. We really do. We've been told: "Time flies."
"Before you know it you're old and gray."
"I used to be young once. Then I woke up old."
We're reminded over and over - babies who don't wake up from a nap, a car accident on a bright, summer day, an earthquake no one knew was coming.
Life is fleeting.
When asked what one would do when faced with the news that they only had a certain amount of time left, the majority of people answered, "I would tell the people I love just how much they mean to me."
This week's challenge sounds easy... but many of you will feel uncomfortable, awkward. You'll make an excuse, you'll be too busy now and promise to do it later. If that's the case, I really hope you actually do it later. Because life is way too short to keep compliments secret.
Take out a piece of paper... one for each person living in your home. Your wife, husband, child... and write their name on top. Then list TEN things you like, enjoy or admire about that person. Ten reasons why you really dig them as a person. Ten things you want them to know in case you don't get a chance to see them again. And when you're done, tape that list to the wall in the most visible place in your house. Take their hand and show them the paper, and read the words you've written.
1.) I love the way you love that stupid, destructive dog - because you love that dog a lot and would never give up on it, and I know that you are that fiercely loyal (and more) towards me and our family.
2.) I love your loud, brazen laughter when you're watching television all by yourself. Someone who laughs out loud unabashedly is downright tops in my book!
3.) I love the way you gag and choke and almost vomit every single time you change the baby's diaper... because you keep doing it. You don't use "ew, it's gross" as an excuse. You do what needs to get done and that's an awesome quality in a person. I know I can count on you.
4.) I love that you're always willing and excited to go with me to silly things like the theatre, or an office get-together, or to dinner with a couple you've never met before. You're a social person and you like people, and I like that. Because you would not be much fun to be around if you didn't like people.
5.) I love how you giggle and get goofy when you're extremely overtired. We've been exhausted for a while now and it's really refreshing that you manage to have fun with it. I admire your sense of humor when things get tough.
6.) I love how excited you are when you ref a game or play a pick-up game with your friends. You're physically active and have a passion for playing a sport - neither of which I do (at all). I respect that those activities are important to you and you won't let life get in the way of doing what you love. I am still so proud of you for organizing the Sunday Night Games.
7.) I love how you get out of bed fearless at three in the morning to find out what the dog is barking at. You are always ready to confront whatever is out there to protect me and our family and that means the world to me (even that time you came across strangers shining flashlights in our windows).
8.) I love how you tell me everything I cook is wonderful even though, clearly, it is not. You know how well positive reinforcement works on me... I'm still trying!
9.) I love how you worry more about the baby than I do. And that's saying a lot because everyone who knows me knows what a freak I am about child safety. You show me that you really take your child's health seriously. You are the strongest, loudest, most determined advocate for our son and I am so relieved I can lean on you for strength.
10.) I love your smile. Your easy going, life is so good, isn't this a great song on the radio even thought I don't know any of the words, smile. Just being around you, with you, near you - is always enjoyable and relaxing. Thank you.
We know that. We really do. We've been told: "Time flies."
"Before you know it you're old and gray."
"I used to be young once. Then I woke up old."
We're reminded over and over - babies who don't wake up from a nap, a car accident on a bright, summer day, an earthquake no one knew was coming.
Life is fleeting.
When asked what one would do when faced with the news that they only had a certain amount of time left, the majority of people answered, "I would tell the people I love just how much they mean to me."
This week's challenge sounds easy... but many of you will feel uncomfortable, awkward. You'll make an excuse, you'll be too busy now and promise to do it later. If that's the case, I really hope you actually do it later. Because life is way too short to keep compliments secret.
Take out a piece of paper... one for each person living in your home. Your wife, husband, child... and write their name on top. Then list TEN things you like, enjoy or admire about that person. Ten reasons why you really dig them as a person. Ten things you want them to know in case you don't get a chance to see them again. And when you're done, tape that list to the wall in the most visible place in your house. Take their hand and show them the paper, and read the words you've written.
My TEN THINGS I LOVE ABOUT YOU List to Matt
2.) I love your loud, brazen laughter when you're watching television all by yourself. Someone who laughs out loud unabashedly is downright tops in my book!
3.) I love the way you gag and choke and almost vomit every single time you change the baby's diaper... because you keep doing it. You don't use "ew, it's gross" as an excuse. You do what needs to get done and that's an awesome quality in a person. I know I can count on you.
4.) I love that you're always willing and excited to go with me to silly things like the theatre, or an office get-together, or to dinner with a couple you've never met before. You're a social person and you like people, and I like that. Because you would not be much fun to be around if you didn't like people.
5.) I love how you giggle and get goofy when you're extremely overtired. We've been exhausted for a while now and it's really refreshing that you manage to have fun with it. I admire your sense of humor when things get tough.
6.) I love how excited you are when you ref a game or play a pick-up game with your friends. You're physically active and have a passion for playing a sport - neither of which I do (at all). I respect that those activities are important to you and you won't let life get in the way of doing what you love. I am still so proud of you for organizing the Sunday Night Games.
7.) I love how you get out of bed fearless at three in the morning to find out what the dog is barking at. You are always ready to confront whatever is out there to protect me and our family and that means the world to me (even that time you came across strangers shining flashlights in our windows).
8.) I love how you tell me everything I cook is wonderful even though, clearly, it is not. You know how well positive reinforcement works on me... I'm still trying!
9.) I love how you worry more about the baby than I do. And that's saying a lot because everyone who knows me knows what a freak I am about child safety. You show me that you really take your child's health seriously. You are the strongest, loudest, most determined advocate for our son and I am so relieved I can lean on you for strength.
10.) I love your smile. Your easy going, life is so good, isn't this a great song on the radio even thought I don't know any of the words, smile. Just being around you, with you, near you - is always enjoyable and relaxing. Thank you.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Minus 10 Toxic Connections
Ah, the joys of modern technology! Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, Blogging - with the click of a button you're instantaneously invited to view the thoughts and snapshots of someone you know. Or someone you don't. Let's be honest, we've all written the "how do I know this person?" email to someone we actually did know in an attempt to jog a memory that would explain why someone we didn't know wants to be our friend.
There's a sense of anticipation when I sign on every morning: who's witty commentary will make me laugh? Who is having a worse day than me and needs my virtual hug? Who will have a tip or piece of advice that I didn't know I needed to hear? Who will need advice that I could possibly give? For the most part, I absolutely love my web-friends and inter-buddies. But then there are others.....
This week's challenge is to remove 10 toxic connections, be it from your cell phone, your email contact list, Facebook or MySpace account, or even your handwritten address book. (Do you really need your ex-boyfriend's step mother's mailing address? You haven't spoken to the woman in over twelve years.) Let go of some of these connections to make room for future, more meaningful connections.
There's a sense of anticipation when I sign on every morning: who's witty commentary will make me laugh? Who is having a worse day than me and needs my virtual hug? Who will have a tip or piece of advice that I didn't know I needed to hear? Who will need advice that I could possibly give? For the most part, I absolutely love my web-friends and inter-buddies. But then there are others.....
- The guy who constantly updates his status with comments about sex and bondage.
- The girl that cusses way more than me (and trust me when I say that is a lot).
- The girl who treated me like crap when we were kids and yet for some reason wanted to be my friend, even though it's been two years and she has yet to comment on anything on my page.
- The friend of a friend of a friend that I met boating one weekend in 2007.
- The ex-boyfriend and his perfectly perky little wife and super smart children in their private school uniforms standing in front of their lake front property. Did I mention they live in Tahoe?
- The kid that sat with you in study hall and now invites you to have pillow fights, mafia wars and to attend wizard school.
- The girl that whines and complains and is all "woe is me" except really you know she's just needy and demanding attention.
This week's challenge is to remove 10 toxic connections, be it from your cell phone, your email contact list, Facebook or MySpace account, or even your handwritten address book. (Do you really need your ex-boyfriend's step mother's mailing address? You haven't spoken to the woman in over twelve years.) Let go of some of these connections to make room for future, more meaningful connections.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Minus 10 I'm Too Busy For You Minutes
Remember when you first met? The butterflies you felt when he first put his hand on your lower back while ushering you through the door of the restaurant? The way you'd grab his hand in the car. In the store. On the couch. There was a time when you thought you'd never let go of his hand.
Remember when you first held your baby? Marveling at that little squished up face and teeny, tiny fingers. You never wanted to share. There was a time when you swore you'd never put that baby down. Ever.
And now? When was the last time you held hands in the car? Lay on his lap while watching a movie? When was the last time you held your baby (who is not so much of a baby anymore)? Marveled at how beautifully and wonderfully she is made?
Your challenge this week is to set the timer for 10 minutes each night and hold hands, hug, kiss, cuddle, touch - someone you love. Tonight it can be your spouse. Tomorrow your eight-year old. The point is to focus for ten full minutes on TOUCHING THEM. Walk arm in arm. Watch SpongeBob with your arm around your son's shoulder. Reconnect with the people you care about.
If you're one of those couples that readily holds hands and hugs, don't be afraid to turn it up a notch (or two). Instead of hopping out of the car right away, sit in the driveway and make out. (Giggle if you want, but you used to do that a lot! And you did it to show him you thought the world of him.)
If you already hug your child on a regular basis try changing it up a bit: offer to read their palms... trace their hand in yours. What do you see? Ignore the dirt under the fingernails and the sweat -- here's a chance to be funny: "I see you have difficulty placing dirty laundry in clothes baskets." or hopeful: "I see that you are full of potential and will be successful in whatever you put your heart into."
Studies show people thrive socially, academically and cognitively when they receive adequate amounts of nurturing touch in their daily lives. Without an appropriate amount of nurturing touch, people report feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and lack of confidence.
Each day this week, resolve to get rid of 10 I’m Too Busy For You Minutes and replace them with 10 You Mean Everything to Me Minutes. Even if you wouldn’t define yourself as the “touchy feely type,” find a few moments each evening to reconnect with your spouse and children through touch. (Make all the excuses you want, but I bet you were touchy-feely enough to make a child!)
What are you waiting for? The laundry will be there when you get back…
Remember when you first held your baby? Marveling at that little squished up face and teeny, tiny fingers. You never wanted to share. There was a time when you swore you'd never put that baby down. Ever.
And now? When was the last time you held hands in the car? Lay on his lap while watching a movie? When was the last time you held your baby (who is not so much of a baby anymore)? Marveled at how beautifully and wonderfully she is made?
Your challenge this week is to set the timer for 10 minutes each night and hold hands, hug, kiss, cuddle, touch - someone you love. Tonight it can be your spouse. Tomorrow your eight-year old. The point is to focus for ten full minutes on TOUCHING THEM. Walk arm in arm. Watch SpongeBob with your arm around your son's shoulder. Reconnect with the people you care about.
If you're one of those couples that readily holds hands and hugs, don't be afraid to turn it up a notch (or two). Instead of hopping out of the car right away, sit in the driveway and make out. (Giggle if you want, but you used to do that a lot! And you did it to show him you thought the world of him.)
If you already hug your child on a regular basis try changing it up a bit: offer to read their palms... trace their hand in yours. What do you see? Ignore the dirt under the fingernails and the sweat -- here's a chance to be funny: "I see you have difficulty placing dirty laundry in clothes baskets." or hopeful: "I see that you are full of potential and will be successful in whatever you put your heart into."
Studies show people thrive socially, academically and cognitively when they receive adequate amounts of nurturing touch in their daily lives. Without an appropriate amount of nurturing touch, people report feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and lack of confidence.
Each day this week, resolve to get rid of 10 I’m Too Busy For You Minutes and replace them with 10 You Mean Everything to Me Minutes. Even if you wouldn’t define yourself as the “touchy feely type,” find a few moments each evening to reconnect with your spouse and children through touch. (Make all the excuses you want, but I bet you were touchy-feely enough to make a child!)
What are you waiting for? The laundry will be there when you get back…
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Minus 10 Unworn Articles of Clothing
So how's that junk drawer looking? Do you find yourself stopping by to open the drawer just to admire the (finally) clutter free zone? Did you make some real changes? Was it as bad as you thought - dealing with it all?
Well, since we believe in Newton's Law of Inertia (an object in motion stays in motion...) let's keep on moving and work our way down the hall to the bedroom. Closet, that is.
Oh, you know they're in there. Deny all you want, but we both know they're there. Why on earth are you still hanging on to that pastel striped sweater you wore in 1989? The socks with the holes in the heel? Why? And do not get me started on that underwear. Puh-lease! If you'd turn seven shades of scarlet upon their public discovery it is time to toss them out. Yes, it's that simple. Burn them if you have to, but for goodness sake, stop hanging on to the things that do nothing to add to your self esteem.
Still coming up with excuses to hang on to them? Let me guess... Your grandpa bought you that sweater when you were fourteen. The socks were the first actual grown-up corporate trouser sock you bought for your first actual grown-up job. And the underwear is for those "I'm so bloated don't even look at me" days. Look, I know sexy lace isn't raging-hormone compatible, but could you maybe upgrade to something that doesn't look like the dog used it as a teething blanket?
Your challenge this week is simple: Get rid of 10 items in your closet that you don't wear. If you're unsure of what those items might be, try these simple tests:
- Put the questionable article of clothing on. Call an old friend from high school you haven't seen in years. Meet them for coffee wearing said article of clothing. If you can't (or won't) do it - that article of clothing has got to go.
- Imagine wearing said questionable article of clothing when you bump into your old college boyfriend (you know, the one who dumped you the night before his fraternity formal for that bimbo who was known around campus as the Belly Shot Babe). If your immediate reaction is flinging yourself into the path of a moving vehicle while fighting back vomit - that article of clothing has got to go.
- If an item has not ventured off the hanger or experienced the luxury of being unfolded at least once in the past five years - that article of clothing has got to go.
It's okay to let go of these things in your closet. In fact, we need to let go of the things that are no longer beneficial to us. Maybe you loved the way you felt the first time you wore that power suit, impressing the hell out of your boss and his coleagues at that monthly budget meeting. That feeling won't go away if you get rid of the outfit. If you must, take a photo of it before passing it on to someone you know will feel the same way when they put it on. This way you'll have a reminder, but it won't be in the form of hanging from the very last hanger on the far right side of your closet. (There's a reason why it's on the very last hanger.)
You cannot honestly take stock of what you own of worth and value if it's surrounded by torn socks, pants you'll never wear in public again, and a sweater that is so stretched out and mishapen it could double as a sleeping bag.
So what did you get rid of? Are you brave enough to post? With an accompanying photo?
Well, since we believe in Newton's Law of Inertia (an object in motion stays in motion...) let's keep on moving and work our way down the hall to the bedroom. Closet, that is.
Oh, you know they're in there. Deny all you want, but we both know they're there. Why on earth are you still hanging on to that pastel striped sweater you wore in 1989? The socks with the holes in the heel? Why? And do not get me started on that underwear. Puh-lease! If you'd turn seven shades of scarlet upon their public discovery it is time to toss them out. Yes, it's that simple. Burn them if you have to, but for goodness sake, stop hanging on to the things that do nothing to add to your self esteem.
Still coming up with excuses to hang on to them? Let me guess... Your grandpa bought you that sweater when you were fourteen. The socks were the first actual grown-up corporate trouser sock you bought for your first actual grown-up job. And the underwear is for those "I'm so bloated don't even look at me" days. Look, I know sexy lace isn't raging-hormone compatible, but could you maybe upgrade to something that doesn't look like the dog used it as a teething blanket?
Your challenge this week is simple: Get rid of 10 items in your closet that you don't wear. If you're unsure of what those items might be, try these simple tests:
- Put the questionable article of clothing on. Call an old friend from high school you haven't seen in years. Meet them for coffee wearing said article of clothing. If you can't (or won't) do it - that article of clothing has got to go.
- Imagine wearing said questionable article of clothing when you bump into your old college boyfriend (you know, the one who dumped you the night before his fraternity formal for that bimbo who was known around campus as the Belly Shot Babe). If your immediate reaction is flinging yourself into the path of a moving vehicle while fighting back vomit - that article of clothing has got to go.
- If an item has not ventured off the hanger or experienced the luxury of being unfolded at least once in the past five years - that article of clothing has got to go.
It's okay to let go of these things in your closet. In fact, we need to let go of the things that are no longer beneficial to us. Maybe you loved the way you felt the first time you wore that power suit, impressing the hell out of your boss and his coleagues at that monthly budget meeting. That feeling won't go away if you get rid of the outfit. If you must, take a photo of it before passing it on to someone you know will feel the same way when they put it on. This way you'll have a reminder, but it won't be in the form of hanging from the very last hanger on the far right side of your closet. (There's a reason why it's on the very last hanger.)
You cannot honestly take stock of what you own of worth and value if it's surrounded by torn socks, pants you'll never wear in public again, and a sweater that is so stretched out and mishapen it could double as a sleeping bag.
So what did you get rid of? Are you brave enough to post? With an accompanying photo?
Friday, January 1, 2010
Minus 10 Clutter Filled Minutes
The First Challenge.
Go to your junk drawer. It might be a drawer in the kitchen, or a cabinet, or a spot in your bedroom. Wherever it is, go to it.
Now open it. Keep it open. And look at it. Really look at it. Take it all in.
How did it get like this?
On the surface it's just a drawer that masks its contents just like every other drawer in the room. The reality is this is a place where you shove all the things you don't want to deal with. If you don't know where something goes, you throw it in there. Or if you don't feel like dealing with something you toss it in, go about your business, and try to forget that it's there. Waiting. Waiting for you to deal with it.
In my junk drawer I tend to house a lot of manuals and printed directions for items I've purchased. There's nothing stopping me from creating a file for manuals, except for the fact that I would have to walk downstairs, pull out an empty folder and write "MANUALS" on it. Hey, that may not sound like a lot, but that's huge. (Especially for someone who's inherently lazy. I've got to walk down the stairs, people. And come back up!)
The other thing that tends to accumulate in my junk drawer is tools, nails, screws, pliers... really anything that was removed from the toolbox. The motivation to get the tools is easy... hang a new picture, fix a leaky faucet; the motivation to return the items is nonexistant. This tells me the toolbox is in the wrong spot. I keep it in the garage, which is obviously way too far away for me to put anything back into it.
My junk drawer has taught me something: the problem isn't the drawer. It's not even the tools or manuals that accumulate inside. The problem is that the location of the toolbox and the files simply does not work for me. The long term solution isn't going to be cleaning the drawer, it's going to be to honestly figure out why things get dumped inside. Nothing really stops me from moving the toolbox into the closet, or in the pantry, or to a place other than the one that currently doesn't work. Perhaps no one else I know keeps their toolbox in their food pantry, but that might be the place that works best for me. And that is okay. It just needs to be properly addressed. This challenge will force me to address the changes necessary to de-clutter a portion of my home. Not just take the time to finally put something back; but to really implement the changes necessary to ensure I am doing the best thing for me.
Our lives can get like this: cluttered. We tend to shove things we don't want to deal with into a deep dark spot: an insensitive in-law, a destructive dog, an ex with an attitude - and shut the door. If we were honest with ourselves we would admit that we walk by this spot multiple times a day and just pretend it doesn't exist, until that one day when we explode over it, cursing the mess created. Just like our junk drawer in our homes, the places in our selves that collect clutter do nothing to promote balance, ease, and clarity.
Today I challange you to tackle that junk drawer for just ten minutes. Set the timer and deal with it. Bring the hammer back to the tool box and then put the tool box in a place that makes sense to you to get the tools in and out of. Put the manuals in a file that's kept upstairs instead of in the basement. Whatever you get done in ten minutes is enough for today, as long as you're honestly working towards dealing with the actual problem once and for all.
Minus 10 minutes of clutter filled time... replace it with 10 minutes of clarity.
Go to your junk drawer. It might be a drawer in the kitchen, or a cabinet, or a spot in your bedroom. Wherever it is, go to it.
Now open it. Keep it open. And look at it. Really look at it. Take it all in.
How did it get like this?
On the surface it's just a drawer that masks its contents just like every other drawer in the room. The reality is this is a place where you shove all the things you don't want to deal with. If you don't know where something goes, you throw it in there. Or if you don't feel like dealing with something you toss it in, go about your business, and try to forget that it's there. Waiting. Waiting for you to deal with it.
In my junk drawer I tend to house a lot of manuals and printed directions for items I've purchased. There's nothing stopping me from creating a file for manuals, except for the fact that I would have to walk downstairs, pull out an empty folder and write "MANUALS" on it. Hey, that may not sound like a lot, but that's huge. (Especially for someone who's inherently lazy. I've got to walk down the stairs, people. And come back up!)
The other thing that tends to accumulate in my junk drawer is tools, nails, screws, pliers... really anything that was removed from the toolbox. The motivation to get the tools is easy... hang a new picture, fix a leaky faucet; the motivation to return the items is nonexistant. This tells me the toolbox is in the wrong spot. I keep it in the garage, which is obviously way too far away for me to put anything back into it.
My junk drawer has taught me something: the problem isn't the drawer. It's not even the tools or manuals that accumulate inside. The problem is that the location of the toolbox and the files simply does not work for me. The long term solution isn't going to be cleaning the drawer, it's going to be to honestly figure out why things get dumped inside. Nothing really stops me from moving the toolbox into the closet, or in the pantry, or to a place other than the one that currently doesn't work. Perhaps no one else I know keeps their toolbox in their food pantry, but that might be the place that works best for me. And that is okay. It just needs to be properly addressed. This challenge will force me to address the changes necessary to de-clutter a portion of my home. Not just take the time to finally put something back; but to really implement the changes necessary to ensure I am doing the best thing for me.
Our lives can get like this: cluttered. We tend to shove things we don't want to deal with into a deep dark spot: an insensitive in-law, a destructive dog, an ex with an attitude - and shut the door. If we were honest with ourselves we would admit that we walk by this spot multiple times a day and just pretend it doesn't exist, until that one day when we explode over it, cursing the mess created. Just like our junk drawer in our homes, the places in our selves that collect clutter do nothing to promote balance, ease, and clarity.
Today I challange you to tackle that junk drawer for just ten minutes. Set the timer and deal with it. Bring the hammer back to the tool box and then put the tool box in a place that makes sense to you to get the tools in and out of. Put the manuals in a file that's kept upstairs instead of in the basement. Whatever you get done in ten minutes is enough for today, as long as you're honestly working towards dealing with the actual problem once and for all.
Minus 10 minutes of clutter filled time... replace it with 10 minutes of clarity.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
